With pregnancy comes many symptoms that people expect. However, I wish I had known of these few things before embarking on my pregnancy journey.
1. Nausea:
I found out I was pregnant 3 days before my missed period. Other than some mild cramping, I felt normal. I waited anxiously for the well known symptoms that would follow that plus sign on that small white stick.
The next few days, I noticed some nausea in the evening. But most of the day I felt well beyond that evening sickness. However, at 6 weeks on the dot, I woke up feeling like I had the stomach flu. I knew this wasn’t your typical bug, and that I was in it for the long haul.
I immediately reached out to some mommy groups on social media to ask for advice and ways to cope with this nausea, and I got some good feedback. Mostly recommendations of vitamin B6, ginger, and snacking on crackers. These things helped some, but barely enough to even get me out of bed in the morning.
My feelings of nausea dissipated during my second trimester, only to reappear in the third. I was lucky enough to have found my midwife by then, who recommended protein in the morning. I couldn’t handle the thought of eggs or any type of meat, so I often turned to nut butters and powdered vegan protein shakes mixed in with some nut milk. These helped me tremendously and I wish I had had this trick up my sleeve during that first trimester.
Another thing that really took the edge off was this drink mix – which I had to drink in sprite (I know, not the best, but you gotta do what you gotta do!) because it tasted so bad on its own.
2. Exhaustion:
Out of all of the pregnancy symptoms I had, this one caught me by surprise the most. I never anticipated how utterly exhausted I would feel by the end of each day, especially during that first trimester. I had to give myself grace and just take the time to sleep when I needed it. I would often fall asleep in the evenings right after work. I wish I had more understanding for myself during this time and not felt so guilty for sleeping so much. My body needed it and it even helped with the nausea.
While resting is ideal when facing fatigue during pregnancy, I did notice a bit of a change once I switched to a good prenatal vitamin. My energy levels seemed to elevate a bit, and I felt better overall.
These are my favorite prenatal vitamins:
3. How Pregnancy Would Affect My Relationship With My Husband:
I had wanted to be a mother my whole life. While we weren’t planning to have a child so soon into our marriage, I still took the pregnancy as good news. However, my husband’s reaction to learning of my pregnancy was one of disbelief and uneasiness.
The months that followed consisted of a disconnect between my husband and myself that I had not anticipated. There was a lot of frustration of him not understanding what I was experiencing, and me desperately wishing he did.
While my pregnancy did put a strain on our marriage, like most things, we came out stronger. However, I wish I would have communicated with my husband more effectively and had been more patient of his journey in adjusting to fatherhood.
(If you want to learn more about how my pregnancy affected my marriage, you can read about it here.)
4. Finding The Right Provider:
Halfway into my pregnancy, I began experiencing an excruciating pain in my abdomen. I met with three doctors concerning this pain and felt that none of them took me seriously.
This led to my decision to look into a home birth midwife. After meeting my midwife, I knew this was the perfect fit for me! She listened to my concerns, offered solutions, and gave me her phone number so I could reach out if those things didn’t work.
I would no longer have to leave messages with a receptionist and wait for days to get any kind of phone call back.
This lessened my anxiety and made the rest of my pregnancy much easier.
I wish I would have gone into pregnancy not settling for less than what I needed from a provider. Whether you choose an OB/GYN, midwife, nurse midwife, etc. Know the kind of care you are looking for and deserve and find your provider.
5. Nobody’s Feelings Are More Important Than The Safety of Your Child (Born or Unborn):
This was a difficult, but necessary lesson for me to learn. During my pregnancy, my in-laws took me, my husband, and my husband’s siblings on an unforgettable trip to Yellowstone National Park!
During this trip, my in-laws had planned many fun activities, with the main priority being exploring the national park. We were all assigned to be in specific cars, and my husband and I were with my in-laws. I was thrilled to get the opportunity to spend so much time with them! However, I had previously told my husband that I felt uncomfortable with my Father-in-law’s driving. He assured me that it would be okay, and that he would trade his dad and drive if I became uncomfortable. My Father-in-law assured me that he was on board with this idea.
The beginning of the trip went smoothly and my husband and father-in-law traded back and forth while driving. During the trip, however, he became more and more stubborn and less willing to let my husband take the wheel.
Eventually, I couldn’t stand the constant state of anxiety I had been in and I broke. I said I wasn’t getting back in that car again – and neither me or my baby has since.
Looking back on this experience, I realize that I held out until my breaking point because I was so afraid of hurting my father-in-law’s feelings about his driving. I wasn’t putting enough weight on the importance of keeping myself and my unborn baby safe.
6. Your Body Will Never Be The Same:
While it is entirely possible to get back to that pre-pregnancy weight (while extremely difficult to do). There are simply things that will never fully go back to how they were. Some of these things include:
- Stretch marks: Many women experience stretch marks on their stomach, thighs, breasts, and hips. While they may fade over time, they will never fully go away.
- Boobs: Between pregnancy and breastfeeding, I went up 3-4ish bra sizes. That kind of growth comes with some permanent changes.
- Hips: After giving birth, my hips were so swollen that my usually straight legs were pointed towards each other. I had knock knee for a couple of weeks postpartum. Now I don’t know this for sure, but I personally am convinced that my hips will never be the same after going through that kind of trauma.
- Mindset: I used to be more on the fearless side, taking risks while mountain biking and always wanting to go on the scariest rollercoasters. After having a baby, something in my brain changed. I now have such crazy anxiety surrounding anything like that. I often think, ‘I’ve become my mother!’ Because I now have many of the same fears she did while we were growing up. I have a lot more understanding for her now.
- Scent and Food Aversions: While my inability to tolerate scents and certain foods became significantly better after giving birth, there are certain aversions that still affect me even a year postpartum. I now have a fragrance sensitivity – where certain smells give me a migraine or make me feel sick. And there were certain things I ate during pregnancy that I no longer can eat due to the nausea association.
- Stomach: After stretching so much, it can be difficult to get your muscles to come back together. Not only this, but many women face extra skin on their tummy’s after pregnancy.
7. Nothing Will Go Unchanged
I didn’t anticipate that my entire sense of normalcy would be completely gone after having a baby and that I would have to completely rebuild my life and what “normal” looks like. When I say nothing goes unchanged, I mean it! But here are some things I could pinpoint:
- Body
- Appetite
- Levels of anxiety
- Social life
- Desire for a social life
- My relationship with my husband
- My relationship with my family
- My relationship with my husband’s family
- Friendships
- My career
- My self care & hygiene even look different
- Knowing what I want/need
- Even being able to articulate things has changed
8. The Fourth Trimester
To say that I was under prepared for the 4th trimester would be an understatement. I had no idea what to prepare for physically, mentally, materially. I thought I was well prepared, but I was far from it.
I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to get my meals in everyday or how difficult it would be to drink enough water. I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to go to the bathroom (first while healing and then with a newborn).
I didn’t anticipate the support I would need, nor did I understand how I could build that support team. My postpartum experience felt so lonely. It was HARD to say the very least.
Final Thoughts:
While I could continue on these topics forever, I don’t feel that I could do them the justice they need in this blog post alone. Comment which sections you would like me to elaborate on and I will make them into a blog post of their own!
Motherhood Homemade 
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